


I'm Not A Hero

by handsinmittens



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Gen, and it's just like autopilot bullshit writing, i always am in the mood to write then i get halfway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 18:23:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20247286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handsinmittens/pseuds/handsinmittens
Summary: You’re a sith lord part of the Resistance and are somehow dating the Resistance’s favourite hero Poe Dameron. You found the map but had to give it someone else for safe keeping.





	I'm Not A Hero

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Tegan & Sara I’m not your hero and it just seemed to fit. I don’t remember how the map got where but who cares we just here for smooching Poe. Set before the force awakens the bullshit it pulled.

Poe watched you from afar as you were training by yourself. He wondered why you never trained with Rey but he guessed it had something to do with the dark side.

Also because you didn’t want people training with you or seeing you train. Who knew a sith could be so shy?

You were gonna kill him if you knew he was here, he thought.

“I know you’re there Dameron.”

Dameron. Uh oh. When you called him that he was usually in trouble. He couldn’t help watching you he thought you looked so beautiful. Well he always thought that but just when you were on your own and nobody else around there was something unique about it.

“Stop thinking about me.” You said. You were swinging what looked like a very heavy stick around and he didn’t want to be on the business end of that.

Not that you’d ever hurt him, it’s just that Poe also knew other people had access to that stick like half the commanders of the Resistance who seemed to have it out for him.

“I can’t help thinking about you. I’m in love.” He said.

“Ugh.”

Poe laughed and left the room. He knew you did love him back he didn’t need to hear you say it. You were adorable when you pretended to be mad.

Poe heard a loud thud against the door and he assumed you had thrown the stick at it. He made sure his thoughts were extra loud so you could hear him say that. Adorable

“Shut up!” You yelled.

—————————————————————————————– 

You weren’t exactly sure how you started dating Poe but you blamed him somehow. He probably asked you when you were half asleep and you said yes to make him go away but now you were stuck with him.

You didn’t deny liking him and you really liked the things he did for you.

Or to you.

You could admit he was gorgeous and funny. You felt like a dark cloud had lifted off your shoulders when you had met him as much as it pained you to say. Being around the First Order hadn’t made you stronger with the dark side it had just messed with your brain.

You knew that it didn’t matter who won the war it mattered on what would happen to you. Kylo would never simply let you leave if the First Order won and if the Resistance won then you’d probably be arrested or even killed. Either way neither sounded like good options but being in bad force user jail sounded a great deal better than being at Kylo’s beck and call. The dark side was your own freedom and it looked like in the end it would be your undoing.

You decided to join the Resistance in hopes they’d go easy on you when they won. A selfish reason maybe but you are a sith it’s how it goes.

You finished tidying up the room and took a moment to collect yourself. You could never concentrate properly when Poe was around. You thought about asking him to stay but only so you could train while there was a distraction around and not because you just really liked looking at him.

There was also that.

You headed towards the canteen looking for Poe. Hopefully his friends weren’t there. It’s not that you didn’t like them it was that they were loud and excited constantly. Also they kept trying to be friends with you and being friends with Poe, Paige and Rose was enough.

—————————————————————————————– 

Poe was alone in the canteen and after picking up some food from the kitchen you headed towards him.

You sat across from him and when you looked at him you noticed his head was down and it looked like he was fiddling with something in his lap.

“You sure this is the place for that Dameron?”

He looked up so fast you thought he was going to break his neck. He looked shocked but then he put on that insufferable smug grin of his again.

“Oh I can think of a few places for whatever you think it is I was doing.”

“Cut the innuendo crap.”

“I was....uh...nothing.” Poe said nervously.

You rolled your eyes and started eating. It used to be fun when Poe was nervous around you but now it worried you. Not that you’d tell him that.

“I know it’s your birthday today,” He whispered and you choked on your food.

“How could you possibly know that?”

“I may of accidentally seen it somewhere in one of the files when I was searching for someone else’s. I know you like to keep things private but I’m your boyfriend, shouldn’t I know this.” He said and you pulled a face at him.

Poe knew you found the word boyfriend weird because it implied you had feelings and emotions that a sith shouldn’t have. You did tell him this while you were cuddled up to him and watching a sappy rom-com film so it’s not like he could take you that seriously.

“Anyway this is for you.” He hands you a small box.

“Oh.”

“Don’t worry I’ve got an extra present for you later.” Poe winked.

“If I’m coming into our room and I see you wearing nothing but a ribbon on your dick you’re sleeping outside.”

“I don’t have anymore presents for you.” Poe said and he pouted at you but you gave him a small smile and that made him happy. All joking aside he’d do anything to see you give even a twitch of your lips and he’d be happy.

Grumpy sith lords are no fun after all.

“Why did you give me this?” You asked.

“It’s considered a tradition to give a gift to someone on their birthday.”

The thought just occurred to Poe that you hadn’t received a gift before. With your upbringing in the dark side he doubted there was much love there. He puts the box in your hands and gestures for you to open it.

“It’s a picture of you.” You said.

“Yeah I made sure it was sized properly so you could stick it to your lightsaber so I’m always with you.”

“You’re the worst,”

“I know but look underneath the picture.”

You lifted the picture up and saw a necklace there. It was a thin piece of rope and attached to it was a mini lightsaber.

“It’s not the same as your lightsaber I know but I thought of you.” Poe said.

You were holding back tears this was the most thoughtful thing anyone had done for you since....well... the last time Poe had done anything for you.

“Where did you get this?”

“I made it.” He replied.

Now you really wish you’d sealed your tear ducts. Poe made this? A red lightsaber necklace. Just because it was your birthday.

“You’re a romantic fool, Poe Dameron.” You said with a smile on your face. You tried to suppress it but it failed.

“I’m guessing you like it.”

“I love the picture more.”

Poe smiled inwardly. It wasn’t often you said the word love but when you said it he knew you meant it. Especially when you said you loved his picture.

People started coming into the canteen and Poe stood up to leave. He motioned to you to come with him and to go somewhere more quiet and private. You didn’t want anyone to see you this vulnerable and he knew that.

Poe and his wonderful ideas and thoughtfulness. You wanted to hate it because hate made you stronger but there was something that stopped you. It had a word for it but you were hesitant to say it.

Years of being told emotions are bad will do that to you.

—————————————————————————————– 

“Here I got you something else.”

“Poe.”

You were leaving on a highly important mission and just as you were about to leave Poe had come up to your x-wing and given you another small box. You hoped it wasn’t matching jewellery.

It had been a week since your birthday and you hadn’t taken the necklace off. Poe had mentioned how he liked seeing you wearing that and only that and you had banned him to the sofa for a week. That ban had lasted for ten minutes before he was back in the bed and cuddling up to you. Poe was always cracking dirty jokes with you but only because it seemed to make you smile the most.

“Y/N. Just open it.”

You opened it to find another picture of himself.

“Do you give pictures of yourself to everyone?” You asked.

“Only to the people that I love.” He winked at you. “To the people I care about. Now you have one for your lightsaber and your ship.”

“Please don’t stick pictures of yourself in the shower or our room.”

Poe always got a thrill from hearing you casually mention that it was both your room. Anytime you casually mentioned anything to do with your relationship made him happy.

He had become even more happy when you started going out and he didn’t think that was possible.

“There goes that idea.”

“I have to leave for this very important mission you know. Leia will have both our heads.”

“Fine. Kiss goodbye?”

“No.”

“Too late!” Poe quickly managed to kiss you on the cheek and hopped off the ladder before you could do anything to him.

He saw you roll your eyes at him and place his picture on the dash in your ship. Once he could no longer see you in the sky Poe headed towards Leia’s office. She had an important mission for him as well.

Great.

—————————————————————————————– 

Leia had tasked you with finding the map to her brother’s location. As you were a sith lord you had more access to places others may not be able too. Nobody else knew about the mission as Leia had become suspicious of a spy in their ranks and because she knew a lot of people would object to her sending you on a mission this critical.

There was rumours of the map existing in a small village but that turned out to be false. So you followed the next lead you had. The Empire had archives full of every single corner of the galaxy and so it was the only place it could possibly be there.

Both the Resistance and the First Order had only half copies of the map and both sides had looked extensively into their own records. You had even been part of the team to look for it so you had knowledge of the Empire archives already. All you had to do now was find the missing piece of the map.

Easy right?

Wrong obviously.

Searching the archives was boring as shit. You found yourself wishing Poe was here with you. He’d make this less boring but he’d probably end up distracting you as well. The sooner you found this missing piece the sooner you’d get back to the base.

—————————————————————————————– 

You didn’t know how long you’d been scouring through the archives before something caught your eye. You were about to find out more about it when you felt a disturbance in the force. It was most likely the First Order so you downloaded what you could and made your escape.

You made it back to your ship without anyone seeing you and you were about to climb into it when you heard a scream. You knew you had to leave this information could be more important but something stopped you.

There was a village nearby and Kylo Ren liked ordering his troops to destroy these places. You headed towards the source of the noise and saw that Kylo wasn’t here but his Knights of Ren were. You crouched in the shadows to evaluate the situation.

There were only three Knights that you could sense and one had disappeared into the buildings with the archives. You could take these one and help the village but it would take some time.

You decided to help them but only because it would benefit you and not because you wanted to do good and be part of the light side of the force. Not one bit.

You ignited your lightsaber and ran towards to the nearest Knights of Ren.

—————————————————————————————– 

“So.”

“So?”

“You’re late.”

The second you had landed and turned off your engines Poe had appeared. He took your helmet off you and you jumped out of the ship.

“Does it matter?” You asked.

“Yes I missed you every minute every second every moment you were gone.” He replied dramatically.

“I am not late.” You said, taking your helmet off of him.

“That’s not what we heard.”

“Heard?”

Poe motioned for you to follow him to the control room and you reluctantly did.

When you arrived there it turned out somehow the Resistance knew about you saving the village and killing three Knights of Ren. You told Leia how you managed to actually find the missing piece of the map, once you had managed to find a safe and secure spot to look for it in the part you downloaded, but because now that the First Order knew you where you were you had to leave the map with someone else. You had made a stop at Jakku to refuel and leave it with a man who was a long time friend to Leia and hoped you could go back for it soon. Not the best and solid plan but it was the only thing you could of think at the time.

You sighed and got ready for any judgemental looks or snide remarks you always seemed to get when you came back from missions.

You could save the galaxy and half the Resistance would still hate you.

—————————————————————————————– 

“That was very heroic of you, you know.” Poe said as you both walked back to your shared room.

“I wasn’t being heroic I was doing what I thought was right.” You told him.

“Sounds pretty heroic to me.”

“Poe, you think waking up before the alarm goes off makes you a hero. You think doing my laundry makes you a hero.”

“Doing a sith lords laundry does make a hero.”

You pushed him away from you and he laughed. Poe threw his arm around your shoulder and you pushed that off of you.

“Must you always be so affectionate?” You asked pretending to be grumpy about it but secretly liking it.

“Yes. So what should we do now hero?”

“I’m going to shower.”

Poe was about to open his mouth to say something.

“Alone.”

“You’re not fun.”

“Thought you already knew that.”

“I did.”

You reached your room and headed inside. You were now looking forward to the one thing you missed the most. The one you love the most.

Your bed. Nice, soft comfy bed. Sharing a room with the Resistance’s golden boy really had it’s perks.

—————————————————————————————– 

“Now you’re leaving?” You asked.

“My turn to get the map.” Poe said.

“Oh I see I do all the hard work and you swoop in last minute and take all the credit?”

“Exactly.”

You stepped away from his ship and stood far enough away from everyone else but close enough that Poe could still see you as he left.

“You look like you’re missing him already.”

You turned your head to see Leia standing next to you.

“Something doesn’t feel right. I feel like something bad is going to happen.”

“You’re worried for Poe?”

“I’m never going to worry about him, he has this uncanny knack for getting out of dangerous situations with nothing more than a bruise or a small cut. No there’s something more something bigger.”

“If you’re worried about something maybe I should alert the entire Resistance.” Leia said.

“I need to do some meditating.”

You left for your room not seeing the look on Poe’s face as you left. You always waited for him to leave but not this time. He turned to Leia who gave him a reassuring look.

Poe left for Jakku to collect the missing piece of the map. When he returned he would ask you and you’d probably not say anything until he managed to get it out of you someway.

It usually involved bribing you with his hidden collection of cakes he thought you didn’t know about it.

—————————————————————————————– 

“You’re late.”

“Does it matter?”

“No.”

You were in the med-bay with Poe while he was being checked over after his mission to collect the map. You could tell he was secretly upset that he hadn’t gotten the map back to the base but he had managed to escape from the clutches of Kylo Ren and that was enough for you.

As much as it hurt the sith lord part of you, you had really come to care for this annoying, obnoxious, kind-hearted, funny pilot. You knew how ruthless Kylo Ren can get with his torture and you sympathised with Poe.

“Ok you’re all good to leave. Try to keep out of my med-bay for a while longer Commander Dameron.”

“Yes doctor.”

You left in silence walking without a destination in mind but you ended up in a secluded spot away from the base.

You sat in silence for a while just enjoying the quiet when Poe spoke.

“Did I worry you?”

“I never worry about you. You know that but if you want to think I did then that’s fine by me.”

“Excellent.”

Poe shuffled closer to you and pulled you closer to him. You could tell he needed this and so you let him. Even with Poe and his extremely affection ways your natural reaction was to still shake it off from you. It was also very cold and he was very warm.

“Do you think you’ll ever stop being a sith lord?” He asked.

“Probably not. I like the dark side way too much but if you’re wondering if I’ll start wars or slaughter millions then no I won’t do that.” You answered.

“Oh.”

“Dameron. what’s bothering you?”

“Uh oh breaking out the last name.”

You didn’t answer him.

“You went through so much trouble to get that map and all I do is get captured and lose it.”

“Who has it now?”

“I gave it to BB-8 and I want to leave to find my droid but Leia won’t let me.”

“I’m not helping you stage a breakout. It might not be much comfort but we’d be able to tell whether or not they’d have the map. I’d be able to tell.”

“Only a small comfort.”

“You didn’t fail your mission we will find that map and we will get that map.”

“You’re sounding very hopeful.”

“Take that back.”

“No.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

“It was very heroic what you did on Jakku.” You said.

“What did I do?”

“I don’t know I thought that was something people say to cheer them up.”

“I did keep talking shit to Kylo Ren.”

“Now that’s very brave.”

“When this is over what will you do?” He asked.

“Whatever I want. I use the dark side because it gives me the freedom to do that.”

“If you want to do things with me?”

“Then I will do that.”

“If I want you to do things with me?”

“Sure.” You hoped this wasn’t leading to another sex joke.

“I want you to meet my dad.”

“Absolutely not.”


End file.
